{ Secret 1 }
Posted: January 11th, 2009 | Author: Jacky | Filed under: 12 Secrets | No Comments »This is the first of 12 weeks I’ll be participating in a book blogging group for 12 Secrets of Highly Creative Women. The secret this week is acknowledging your creative self and the question is: Where are you on the journey to your creative self?
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My creative self is still in its infancy stage. It was only last year when I discovered blogs; the most influential were women writing about their creative journeys and struggles, about finding the strength to pursue their dreams and abandon security and the known. They were honest and raw and inspiring. It wasn’t until I saw these other women succeeding outside the standard work day and job description that the idea of doing it myself became not only an option in my life, but a feasible goal.
I’m finally allowing myself to test the waters of activities I’m interested in instead of thinking that I won’t be good at them or that it’s a waste of money. Thanks to my employer’s tuition reimbursement program, I took a typography class during the summer and a letterpress class during the fall. While I was on vacation in Portland, I attended a mixed media class at Art & Soul even though I hadn’t touched paint since elementary school.
Grasping that it’s OK to fail is something that I’m still working on — trying to be comfortable with things not going as planned. Because at least that means that you tried something new, something unknown and out of your comfort zone.
My creative self is working on becoming less scared — of putting my works, my designs, my life out into the world, unsure of how they’ll be received. I still struggle with writing what feels authentic versus writing what I want people to read or think about me. This website still doesn’t have an About me section because I’m not sure what parts of myself I want to represent, how much of myself I want to share, what is even relevant to people who’d read it.
2008 was a momentous year in terms of acknowledging that I am worthy and competent enough to pursue my interests in writing and design, and that I’m strong enough to handle whatever challenges come my way during the journey. I’d like 2009 to see more exploration of them. Tangible results, not just thinking. I’m in the middle of The Artist’s Way. I started Project 365. I have compiled more writing prompts than I know what to do with. Now I just have to keep up with them.
Scheduling and finances permitting, I’m hoping to connect more with other creative souls this year, hopefully at BlogHer and Squam (though I’m still debating whether there are enough classes I want to take to warrant the cost, or if a trip abroad would be equally soul-stirring).
My creative self is gradually overcoming stage fright and working on feeling comfortable in the light. I do not yet know how I will make my creative dreams happen and sometimes that scares me, but I’m done letting them whisper unattended in the back of my mind. I want them to shout with joy.
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