Home for the holidays

After my eavesdropping experiment at Thanksgiving, I decided to continue the tradition while I was home for Christmas. Technically it wasn’t even eavesdropping, just remembering ridiculous things my family said so I could publish them on the internet. Except this time they knew what was in store for them. And they continued to open their mouths. And for that, I thank them.

Dad watching a KU game, before a 3-point shot: GRILL IT BABY!
(swoosh)
Dad: Put the steak in!
Me: Did you really just say “Grill it baby. Put the steak in”? … Now we’re cooking!

Dad, after a 3-pointer with 12 seconds left: Twist that dagger! … Hey, don’t write that down.

Sister: Do they have wireless internet on airplanes? … That’s probably a stupid question.

Mom repeating a Jane Seymour jewelery commercial in a British accent, and adding her own ending: Leave your heart open. Learn to let love in…and buy necklaces.

Sister on the never ending drive to Christmas Eve dinner in a snow storm: I think I may be in grave danger of dying from hunger.

Mom to Zoe as she attacks the advent calendar, again: Baby Jesus isn’t there anymore. You ate him. What, do you think he reappears? … wait, he does. After the third day. You are a religious puppy!

Grandpa opening a scrapbook all the grandchildren made for our grandparents: Oh an album. We have about 15 of these at home that we never look at.

Mom, responding to an e-mail about a recipe I said I wouldn’t make because it requires cooking chicken: I was thinking we need to have a chicken intervention when you’re home next. Really, you need to get over that. Repeat after me: Raw chicken is my friend. It will not hurt me as long as I wash my hands after touching it.