Bittersweet
Posted: February 17th, 2010 | Author: Jacky | Filed under: Running | Tags: ING New York City Marathon, New York Road Runners, Running | No Comments »One of my goals in 2009 was to qualify for the 2010 NYC Marathon. There are multiple ways to do this — run a certain time for your gender/age (not in the realm of possibility for a beginning runner like me), chance it with the lottery (didn’t want to run that risk) or run in nine races and volunteer for another one (totally doable for me).
I was enrolled in running classes for the first half of 2009 and well on my way to completing all my qualifying races by May. Then I got sick. Then I got injured. I tried water running classes for awhile, but it just wasn’t the same. After I lost my job in August, I traveled for five weeks and when I came back in October, I still wasn’t sure that my stress fracture from July had healed. The extent of my running was for 10 minutes every couple of weeks to ease myself back into things.
In the past month I’ve finally started running again. I wear a watch but I don’t check my distance or pace. I run because I love the feeling of putting one foot in front of the other and breathing. I love how the repetition of my feet hitting the pavement somehow clears out my head. I love the feeling afterward when I’m sweaty and happy and my body feels alive.
So it was a bittersweet moment when I received my official notification that I qualified for the 2010 NYC Marathon in November, because I know that there is no way I will be prepared to run it — after my long pause from running because of the injury and my uncertain job forecast/schedule and the amount of energy I’m putting toward figuring out my career. I know I would have to push myself too hard to compete in this marathon, and the risk of injury is too high.
Part of me is sad that it won’t happen like I had planned. Then again, I had planned on running this race in November and then moving to Portland, sort of like my goodbye to the city because you run through all five boroughs. After careful consideration (and a second visit to Portland), I decided I wasn’t ready to leave New York.
Just because the marathon isn’t happening for me this year doesn’t mean it’s off the table. I could pay the entry fee now, defer my eligibility and pay again next year (in all honesty, that’s not really an option for such an expensive race for a girl without a job). There’s also another option for running the marathon — by running with a charity organization and raising money. Which is something I had seriously been considering anyway because I know I need the support and team camaraderie to keep with the training, and all my friends who have done this have had amazing experiences.
For now, what really matters is that I am running again — not where or how much or how fast. What matters is putting one foot in front of the other. And eventually I hope that leads me to a 26.2 mile race.
