And so I set off with a map —  scrawled on the back an old itinerary — of my path to Wal-Mart. It seemed easy enough, and I’d actually been there on Tuesday night to pick up last-minute toiletries when my former roommate Aimee drove in to Orlando so we could have dinner. But that visit was in a car, and it didn’t seem so far away.

Oh boy. Does perspective change once you’ve been sweltering in 100-degree heat, trying to figure out why sidewalks abruptly end and cross walk signals are defective or non-existent. A few times I had to walk in the bike lane, which was sometimes between the normal lanes and the right turn lane. Which obviously made me feel incredibly safe. The cross walks were useless to me…there was no official walk when I wanted to cross, and when there was one, I’d have to wait five minutes for the official signal. So I decided to bob and weave when I felt like it. Which brought back memories of Santo Domingo and its national past-time of playing frogger in highway traffic.

I listened to my iPod to pass the time, which marginally helped. Half-way there I had the urge to start signing out loud. I was the only person on the sidewalks for as far as I could see, and maybe all the people driving by would just think I was using a hands-free phone. Or something. I debated whether I had the courage to just sing out loud, pausing my train of thought to watch a lizard dart across the sidewalk or wonder if it was normal for all these planes to be flying so close to my head.

After I decided I really didn’t care what anyone driving down Lee Vista Boulevard thought of me, I began my accompaniment to this jewel of a song.

And because I had all the time in the world, I replayed it a few times, trying to sing the three-part round ALL BY MYSELF. Crazy, right? If anyone were listening, they would’ve thought I was schizophrenic, because I was making no sense at all. “Glide away come around gain promise not chain off door i’ll take and if come around again soapy heels.” In all honesty, if I actually had my own round that I was supposed to sing, it’d probably still come off schizophrenic sounding because I’d get distracted by everyone else. But I don’t think the lizards, butterflies and ponds minded much.

I arrived at Wal-Mart, drenched in sweat. The book selection was pathetic. Cheesy inspirational religious books and romance novels consumed the shelves. They didn’t even have a nonfiction section. It’s Wal-Mart for heaven’s sake! I settled for cherry tomatoes, granola bars, grapes, Vitamin Water (only $1 per bottle! A true bargain! But they tasted kinda weird), and pineapple, which, thank you karma, was from Costa Rica.

On my 50-minute walk back to my hotel (during which I drank two of my four Vitamin Waters), I stopped at Wendy’s for lunch (other option: Cracker Barrel) and acquired plastic silverware to use to eat my fruit. The rest of the walk back to my hotel, all I could think of was taking a shower or going swimming. So when I got back, I got ready for the pool (noticing the newest spots that got too much sun: my lips and my feet, which now have a Birkenstock tan line). The pool was empty, so I swam and tried some stuff I learned in water running class, which was only partially successful because I didn’t have a flotation device to keep me afloat.

After my arms started feeling the burn (from exercise, not the sun), I took a nap. When I looked up, I saw a squirrel and a lizard looking right at me, a few feet away on the perimeter of the pool. Lovely. I looked to my left and saw a lizard climbing up one of the lounge chairs. Seriously, what’s with the lizards.

My plan to go to bed early failed once I decided to wash clothes in the sink. Then I worried that they wouldn’t dry overnight, so I hand dried two shirts, shorts and underwear during commercial breaks of “So You Think You Can Dance” and “Glee.”

I was up by 4:45 a.m. today, on the airport shuttle at 7 and waiting in my gate by 7:45. My flight departs at 10:10 a.m., but I’m not messing it up this time. Costa Rica, here I come!

This video best expresses my feelings:

(more of the freak out, less the chic)

Yesterday when I signed up for the hotel shuttle to the airport, I looked at the time on my return flight from Costa Rica. Today as I sat in the lobby, checking e-mail while waiting for the airport shuttle, I pulled out my boarding pass (apparently my eyes glazed over during the entire online process and I neglected to look at the time) and realized my flight was taking off in 20 minutes. I stared in disbelief at my computer. My heart pounded hard and fast. I think I was shaking. I dug through my carry on bag for my phone. I scrolled down to Jet Blue (yep, saved them! Thank God.) and couldn’t hold back my freak out from the kind phone operator. My voice quivered as I explained my situation, and as she did computer things, I mumbled things like “I can’t believe I did this. Uhhh, what am I going to do?” And after she set me up on stand-by for Thursday, so said she hoped my day got better. Me too. What’s really ironic is that I purposely scheduled my flight to Costa Rica the day before Jet Blue All-You-Can-Jet Pass expired, in case something would happen. I really hope this wasn’t some kind of self-fulfilling prophecy.

As far as bad things happening, this isn’t terrible. I have a place to stay already (unlike Eugene, when my hostel didn’t exist). There’s just nothing around here though (except Denny’s and TGIFriday’s, which I think gave me food poisoning yesterday). I also forgot my books at home when I switched from rolly luggage to a backpack. And don’t even get me started on the communication blitz I sent to my friend Matt across e-mail, Facebook and Skype, hoping he wouldn’t be picking me up at the airport as I continue to camp out in the hotel lobby, because it’s the only place with wireless internet, and right now, wireless internet is the only thing making me happy.

So now that my day is wide open, I’m left contemplating some truly exciting options. Pool (is this really sensible, Jacky, considering you are STILL peeling from a burn you got two weeks ago?). TV. Internet in the hotel lobby. Walking 50 minutes to Wal-Mart. I may be in the place where dreams come true, but right now it’s kind of a nightmare.

On the bright side, now I’ll be around to watch “So You Think You Can Dance” and “Glee” on TV.

A few things I learned from this experiment:
1) Maybe don’t prop the computer up on pillows, which will inevitably wobble
2) I am completely unaware of the facial expressions I’m making
3) For the love, stop saying “um” or “like” every 12 words
4) Look at the camera more
5) Have a little outline – just to know where I’m headed

If you’re wondering how it’s possible for me to swing this extended vacation, you can read my post about being laid off at This Ordinary Day.

sidenote: my trip to California was actually scheduled before Jet Blue’s promotion, so I want to give a shout out to G-Unit (aka my grandparents) who donated their miles for me to visit my sister.

I already had a vacation planned to San Diego and San Francisco, and now I’ll be able to see an old friend in Houston, return to Portland just because I love it, and meet up with another friend in Costa Rica (omg Costa Rica, I know). I probably have time for three other places, but I’m having trouble narrowing it down. Right now the rain forest in Puerto Rico is calling my name.

Pending internet access, I’ll be sharing stories and pictures from my all travels as they happen. Stay tuned. Things are about to get really exciting.